I noticed that my blogs so far have been so negative and just focusing on all that is bad.  That is what I am projecting out to the world so that is what I am getting back.  I know I am a negative person.  I don’t want to be that person.  I want to be positive and optimistic so that is what I can get in return.

I want to learn to be more grateful for the things that I do have.  Yes, I am still going to worry about my bills and my financial situation but I want to think positive and project out to the universe that I have some hope.

When I was driving home today, I called my mom as I do every day, and broke down telling her how we are broke and that I feel like such a failure to my daughter.  My mom understood what I was going through because when  I was a baby, her and my dad went through the exact same thing.  It is nice to have someone I can talk to about this and understands what I am going through.  I can’t talk to my friends about this.  They have no idea what is going on in our life.   I love them, don’t get me wrong, but this isn’t something I can talk to them about.

I know everything will work out and that we will make it through this problem.  It’s just hard to see beyond the dark clouds right now.



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